My Story

Jeff Jones

Scott Trout and Jeff Jones

My name is Jeff Jones and my spouse is Scott Trout. We have been together for 10 years and obtained a civil union in Vermont over 4 years ago when that state became the first to offer recognition of gay couples.

I am a lifelong resident of Indiana. In fact, my family has lived in this state since it was a territory. My ancestors fought in the Revolutionary War that created this country. They are buried in a family cemetery near Mechanicsburg in Henry County. It is sadly ironic to think that Scott and I may have to move to Canada to find the freedom to live our lives without persecution from the government when my ancestors fought to create a country that was supposed to represent freedom from persecution for all people.

I was raised Catholic and attended Catholic school. I lived a very sheltered life. I grew up in the same neighborhood that my parents did, surrounded by the same families and friends that they knew. My parents were very protective of my sister, brother and me and raised all of us with the same rules and values. Sex and sexuality were never discussed in our home. I always felt that there was something different about me but I never understood what it was until I was a teenager and learned about the "mechanics" of sex in school. I was strongly attracted to my own sex and had no attraction to the opposite sex. I hated myself for this and tried to suppress it. I prayed constantly with the hope that this was just a phase and that God would change me. I became very depressed, had severe anxiety attacks and thoughts of suicide. I so much did not want to be a disappointment to my parents who had made so many sacrifices on our behalf, just as all good parents do.

When I was in college, I dated women with the hope that I would learn to be attracted them, but there was nothing. I decided I would be celibate and deny my sexuality. I thought I could change myself through work, environmental activism and taking up extreme sports, like skydiving, hang gliding, rock climbing, skiing, etc. I hoped that by immersing myself into tough and rugged activities and making friends with straight guys, I would be able to be like them. I had a lot of fun but this was only a distraction from who I really was.

In my early thirties, after counseling and reading about sexuality, I decided I should accept myself as I am and try to find someone with whom I could share my life. I met Scott in 1995 and we have been happily together ever since. We have a home and mortgage together. We go to work, pay taxes, and contribute to society just as every other good citizen does. We have two dogs and two cats that we adopted from rescue agencies.

My family has accepted Scott and me, just as his family has. Scott helped to care for my mother when she became terminally ill. She loved Scott as she loved everyone else in our family.

It sickens me to see sexuality used as a political tool. All people have a right to live their lives as they see fit, so long as they do no harm to others. I am not comfortable with the fact that we have had to become so public about our sexuality in order for people to see that we are not freaks, that we are human beings just like everyone else, and that we are entitled to the same rights, privileges and responsibilities as every other American!