My Story

Nicole Detrick

My name is Nicole Detrick. I have lived in Indiana for 36 years.

My family consists of my life partner, Julie, our 16 month-old son, Turner, our three dogs, Ripley, Jackson, and Lucy, and our two birds, Indy and Cooper. We also have two very loving extended families on both sides.

I'd like to share my personal story of how either being a GLBT person or having a GLBT person in my life has affected me and my family.

I would describe myself as being a person who has compassion for others, loves her family dearly, and treasures most the time we all spend together.

My personal GLBT related experience began when I was born, but did not come into full realization until my mid-twenties, when I finally realized the reason I felt so different from many of the other people I knew. I was glad to finally realize I was a gay woman, who much preferred the emotional and physical comfort from other females.

My initial thoughts and reactions were relief, but scared to death, at the same time. I was currently living in a very small, rural town in northern Indiana. Although I had many friends and loved ones there, I felt that I would have a hard time living the life of a lesbian in this small town without judgment and potential harmful behavior directed at, not so much me...but yes me, but my lifestyle. I got seriously motivated to find employment in Indianapolis, was able to, and moved very quickly to this city that I have come to call home for the last 10 years.

My religious views toward this are now peaceful. I was raised Catholic so I initially "bought into" the idea that YES, I was for sure going to hell! After much thought, research, and educating myself on what faith is all about, I came to the conclusion that no human can tell me what my fate is because the fact is that NO HUMAN has ANY idea what's after this life!!! We can speculate, guess, and believe those who have supposedly crossed over to see the "other side." It's all crap. Organized religion is just a sense of community for people, which is great if that's what you're looking for. Don't push your ideas on me. I respect all faiths, but WILL NOT tolerate someone trying to sell me "The Way." I believe in higher powers and that there is only love and compassion wherever we go from here. I and my family are loved. We are one of nature's greatest masterpieces.

The initial reaction from my friends and family when I shared with them that I am a GLBT person was some hesitation and judgment, but mostly only love and support.

Unfortunately, I'm not able to share with others that I am a GLBT person because STOP. This is not true for me. Unless under employment circumstances for the best interest of my families' welfare, I am an open person with people about whom I am and who my family is. I have come to realize I can be no other way. I am raising a son. I do not want to show him that he or his family have anything to be ashamed of. I want him to see that we stand proud of whom we are as a family and we only allow those people in our lives that respect us and treat us with respect and kindness.

As time has passed, my relationships with family and friends have only grown richer and deeper.

Just as coming out is difficult for GLBT people, it can also be a challenge for family and friends. Many go right into the closet until they're ready to do their own coming out.

My most affirming situation when I've told someone about myself or a GLBT person in my life has been -- I think when I told my mother I was gay. It was very difficult and her response to me was..."I already knew." This was a nice relief to me having been so nervous to tell her and my father. There was an urgency to tell my parents after dating Julie for about a year and them just knowing her as my "friend." My mother was dying of Scleroderma and we knew she didn't have much time left. I told her 6 months before she died and I'm so glad I did. I just wish we would have had more time together and I would have been able to see my son around his wonderful grandmother.

My most difficult experience under these circumstances has been Conquering my own shame to set an example of family pride for my son.

When I think of home and family, I think of Julie, Turner, and myself as the inner circle with a full extended family circle of loved ones all around us.

When I hear homophobic remarks, it makes me feel frustrated because we truly are your friends, neighbors, family members, bosses, colleagues, etc. Why are we so feared and misunderstood?

Life for me now is One of Nature's finest masterpieces. I count my great blessings every day.

I believe that GLBT people deserve equal civil rights because we are no less or more human than anyone else on this planet.